Friday, 19 September 2008
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Seasons. They mark time so definitively. They take the intangible and make it something you can see and feel. The passing of time plays out right in front of you with the color changing from green to brown before falling to the ground and then coming back green once again. The temperature around you changing from humid and hot, to cool and breezy, and then then bitter cold and ice before finally melting again. And they can't be stopped or delayed. They are impossible to ignore.
As a Florida girl, seasons were more of an idea to me as opposed to to a cold hard fact of life. This year it's really hitting me in a different way. It was fun to see the seasons turn once in Poughkeepsie, but then I returned to season-less Florida. Now, I've experienced the whole cycle two years back to back and I'm starting in on a third rotation. In the past, time was marked in my life by years. But now, the time is marked by seasons. And seasons are so much shorter increments of time then years. It makes time feel faster. Instead of having goals of things I want to accomplish in a year, I have goals of things I want to accomplish or experience in each season.
In some ways it's great. The changes are exhilarating. The different wardrobes are fun. I feel like I'm learning key life lessons that God laid out for us to learn from the world around us. But in other ways, it's scary. It feels out of control. It feels limiting. Winter is just too long.
I'm dreading this winter. I've done it twice in a row and I just don't want to do it again. With my new job, I'm working until 6pm, so I know it will be pitch black when I get off work. For months. I hate driving in dark rush hour. At least this winter I have an office with a window. Maybe that will make it better.
But it's starting already. The 10 day weather forecast doesn't have any more days above 80. The night air is chilly. Dusk is coming much sooner. Dawn is coming later. I'm not scared of the dark. But I makes me feel lonely. Walking in the sunshine makes me feel independent and free. Walking in the desk makes me feel alone and forgotten.
Well, this blog has gotten a little moody, so I think I'll wrap it up.
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Comments (1)
I do recall driving to and from work in the dark when I was your age. Sorry to say I was not so reflective about it. The varying seasons of life are, in fact, much shorter than we realize in our youth. It is best to be mindful of that now and enjoy each one for what they have to teach us than to regrettfully become of aware of that fact too late. Ecclesiates 12.